In a feat described as a stunning display of God-given power, Barack Obama stepped out of a sightseeing boat, walked across about two-hundred feet of the Potomac River, and retrieved a woman’s scarf, which a strong gust of wind had blown overboard during a sightseeing tour.

 

The other passengers just froze in stunned silence. Surely, they all thought, even his staunchest Conservative critics will have to acknowledge such a stunning deed as miraculous.

 

But, alas, it was not to be. The next day Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly, and Sean Hannity ALL opened their broadcasts with the same lead-in: President Obama can’t swim!”

 

Coincidentally, during the waning months of George Bush’s administration, a similar story began making the rounds about him. Only, it was the Pope losing his hat on the sightseeing tour.

 

Please, before anyone checks Scopes.com to see if either of these presidents actually walked on water, take my word for it; neither did. Both stories were politically motivated jokes.

 

But, as a side note for those so interested, Bill O’Reilly, Fox’s guru in charge of moral pontifications, has recorded [snicker] an erotic audio book. Click here to listen.

 

The point of my facetiousness is to show the absurdity of TV’s cable-news networks’ (all of them) growing obsession with macro-analyzing micro events.

 

Do you remember images showing George Bush meeting with the Saudi Crowned Prince at the Bush ranch in Crawford, Texas? Upon the Prince’s arrival, Mr. Bush kissed him and the two men walked along holding hands. Here, take a peek.

 

HORRORS! Nothing elicits projectile vomiting on the RIGHT faster than boys kissing does. Mr. Bush became the brunt of every homophobic jokester in the country.

 

As well, the Lefties, along with every Muslim-hater in the country—Left AND Right—went nuts! Cable-channel talking heads analyzed it for weeks.

 

Recently, during a visit to Saudi Arabia, news cameras recorded President Obama bowing to the Saudi King. EEKS! Please say it didn’t happen. So, of course, the White House stupidly did just that.

 

TOO LATE! The Righties, along with every Muslim-hater in the country—Left AND Right—had already decided to go ballistic. Our Liberal President had demonstrated subservience to a Muslim dictator. The evidence is right here.

 

Cable talking heads are still analyzing this one. The blogosphere, on the Right in particular, is having a field day.

 

Both events demonstrated macro analysis of micro events at its finest. Both events were meaningless in terms of serious world tensions. But, oh how many additional hours of filler they provided the 24/7 cable channels!

 

George Bush kissed and held hands with a Saudi Prince out of recognition for Saudi customs. That’s all it was; he wasn’t trying to hit on the man.

 

In Saudi Arabia, men hold hands and kiss in public. There’s nothing sexual about it. Although, in cases where sexual attraction is a factor, just as in this country, they have places designed to accommodate such behavior: closets.

 

As well, White House denials notwithstanding, President Obama DID bow to the Saudi King, but not out of subservience to a Muslim dictator. It’s what people do in that country. He did it to show respect for Saudi cultural norms. That’s All!

 

Presidents—it comes with the territory—sometimes have to make critical, potentially career-ending life and death decisions.

 

If things turn out well, the media anoints them as cool-headed and decisive. Otherwise, they’re vilified as indecisive, timid bums.

 

When Ronald Reagan was president, he ordered armed troops into Grenada to rescue American medical students that had been “detained” on the orders of the ruling regime.

 

SUCCESS! Cable talking heads crowned him BOLD and DECISIVE, a leader our enemies ought to think twice about before screwing with us.

 

But, had the mission failed, in addition to ad nauseam analysis, the same media would have declared him THE de facto bad example, thus dethroning Jimmy Carter who won the title when he authorized a failed rescue mission to free our embassy employees held by Iran back in the ‘70s.

 

About a week ago, President Obama faced HIS first life and death moment. He ordered Navy Seals to rescue a captive American commercial sea captain, by whatever means necessary, including the use of lethal force.

 

Again, SUCCESS! Not only did we save the hostage, we killed three scumbag hostage-takers in the process. “Yea Barack,” the cable channel talking heads declared. How BOLD and DECISIVE. Even many Righties agreed.

 

Of course, this mission was so much more dangerous than the one Ronald Reagan undertook back in his day. So much more could have gone wrong more easily, most of which was beyond the President’s control.

 

And, had it failed, resulting in one of the pirates killing their hostage, Barack Obama would now hold the bad example title.

 

The 24/7 cable news media would still be in the midst of analysis, vilifying Mr. Obama at every turn. He’d have to run like crazy just to stay ahead of the torches and pitchforks.

 

Presidents’ reputations as heroes or bums often hinge on circumstances well beyond their respective controls. The economy, stock market, private sector executive decisions, and an ideologically partisan Congress are prime examples.

 

As powerful as the Presidents of the United States are, they’re human, mere mistake-making mortals. They cannot walk on water, at least not without knowing where all the rocks are.

 

They are NOT faster than speeding bullets, stronger than locomotives, or able to leap tall buildings at a single bound. News networks, especially the ones on the cable channels, know this.

 

They ignore it, though, because they have 24-hours per day, 7-days per week, 52-weeks per year of airtime to fill. There’s bound to be some degree of collateral damage. RATINGS! Clarity regarding issues is secondary.

 

This is one of the byproducts of media owners transferring their networks’ newsrooms from overhead centers to profit centers. So, viewer-preferred news is now the norm.

 

These people repeat the same news highlights every half-hour. Same stuff. Same principals. They pray for the relief of “breaking” news. ANY breaking news, even if they have create some. We’re talking about RATINGS here!

 

Then, we have to contend with those “entertainment-driven” talking head pundits: O’Reilly, Hannity, Maddow, Olbermann, Matthews, Blitzer, and UGH… Larry King.

 

Each covers the same topics, trying to show “unique” perspectives, even if they have to have their experts (motto: “expertise customized on demand”) create something.

 

Yes, political pundits now rule the airways. As self-anointed pontificators of all things political and moral, they habitually render instant judgments based on nothing more than pure speculation cleverly disguised as news.

 

Holding weekly courts, some daily, they love rendering momentous verdicts regarding myriad matters—trivial or not—at least once every hour they’re on camera.

 

Current deliberations concern President Obama’s expressed preference for diplomacy first, kicking ass later, if necessary. The Righties hate it; the Lefties love it. Nothing new here!

 

However, refusing to kick another country back to the stone age because “we can” is not a sign of weakness or cowardly appeasement. Expressing a willingness to talk about differences does not mean we’re in bed with our enemies.

 

The United States of America, make no mistake about it, is STILL the most powerful nation on Earth—both economically and militarily. If provoked, righteously or otherwise, we can literally incinerate entire countries just to prove the point.

 

But, being this powerful also means that we can afford to exercise prudent self-control, even when our enemies, as well as some of our “friends,” have REALLY pissed us off.

 

We’ve just finished 8-years of foreign policy consisting of incessant chest thumping, bluster-by-grunting, and condescending hissy fits. We’ve all seen how well that’s worked out.

 

Diplomacy probably won’t work with countries like Iran, North Korea, and few others. And, Barack Obama knows it. Offering the option, however, makes us look better when we finally incinerate them.

 

However, I believe our first preemptive strike needs to be against our own divisive partisan political pundits. Eliminating ALL those intrepid windbags may well eliminate the need for incinerating anyone, well, except of Sean Hannity and, UGH… Larry King.

 

Joe Walther is a freelance writer and publisher of The True Facts. You may comment on his column by clicking here.